Got orientated at my new place of employment today. Apparently lipstick and eyes shadow are a requirement....looks like I'm going make-up shopping tomorrow. If you see me looking like a drag queen, don't judge me.
Anyways, today was a bit difficult. I am feeling EXTREMELY lonely, and I really don't know how to snap out of it. Though i've had this feeling for awhile, lately it has been getting worse. I just want someone to care about ME. I was thinking about it today, and though this sounds pathetic, if something were to happen to me in my apartment, I don't think anyone would know. No one would call, and if they did, they would just leave me a voicemail, thinking i was busy or something. I always feel that I'm the one making the effort every single time to either hang out with people or just simply stay in contact with them. I think I desperately just need something to change for the better. I need something to go right and not just get worse. And I need to feel like I am not wasting my time on anything or anyone which is the position I am in now. Its frustrating to the point where I don't even want to try anymore, but at the same time I just keep trudging along, with the last bit of faith that I have left that change is gonna come. BLAH!
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