"And I know that it's a wonderful world but I can't feel it right now...I thought I was doing well, but I just want to cry now.."

I had a bad day today, and I really don't know why. Nothing in particular happened. I think I'm just mad at myself for everything that has happened...for allowing it to happen to me. I was doing a lot of thinking today, and I'm not going to be able to movie past all of the things that hurt me, because I know that I brought them on myself. I provoked all of these things to happen in some way, shape or form. Not intentionally, but I let the not-so-good things in and as a result of my foolishness, I'm here. In this place. I am SO frustrated. I was thinking today that maybe that makes me a bad person. I am a bad person for letting the bad things in and trusting other people. Look where that has gotten me. Sad, depressed, lonely, and wanting to have any life except for mine. I am not normal, there has to be something wrong with me. No more. I want to be done. I am tired of people leaving.